Hardly Evil at All

I bet if you took all the evil people in the world and laid them end to end (but not in any dirty kind of way), you would be surprised to find that not one of them was Me.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Pest Control the "Green" Way

In an unexpected turn of events, the President and CEO of the Duck Tape corporation held an impromptu Skype press conference today expressly to deny accusations of conspiracy and involvement with the currently trending recommendation on social media sites to use one of its products for "GREEN" Pest Control.
According to the company, the "non-advertisements" that have flooded social media sites did NOT originate from within Duck Tape's own secretive boardroom meetings as a last ditch effort to influence and boost rapidly falling sales and stock prices.
Despite the vehement denials of involvement, Duck Tape spokespersons admit that the off-label use of its product is easy, economical, and completely eliminates the unpleasant noise made by squishing certain "crunchy" pests, usually millipedes.
They also reminded consumers that Duck Tape is now available in more than fifty colors, any of which can be used as part of one's "green" pest control purposes.

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