WARNING: This is not the GOOD kind of miracle.
I'm not a marksman with a gun or a bow and arrow, and I don't mean to brag, but I have a pretty fair handle on where my vagina is. (No, not LITERALLY, although one could probably purchase such an accessory if one chose to do so, which I do NOT.)
So, HOW is it possible for one's period to end up EVERYWHERE except on the PAD?
Pads are supposed to be technologically advanced now. I don't think they are even available without super-absorbency powers and "wings" for "all around" protection.
Y'all know that AS SEEN ON TV pad, the one you can put on the kitchen counter (with no panty back-up crew of any kind, not even a paper towel in sight), pour a half gallon of Windex on it, pick it up and hold it upside-down, and STILL no blue dye gets ANYWHERE but on the pad? No drips, no dribbles, no muss, no fuss. THAT'S what I want in a pad!
We can send a man to the moon (again, as soon as NASA raises enough money), but we can't send a woman, because it'd be a bitch and a half to rinse blood out of one of those space suits.
Hang on- Maybe it's because it's a Canadian company. Maybe vaginas work differently there.
Dear Canadian Feminine Hygiene Products Manufacturers:
With all due respect, American Vaginas shouldn't have to take classes in order to use your products.
P.S. Don't even bother sending us coupons or samples, unless you want a really strange and gross kind of Boston Tea Party Re-Enactment on your conscience, if you have one.