Me (from somewhere in the vicinity of the end of my rope): This cat is CRAZY and BAD. I'm gonna go out and buy a tazer. Maybe THAT will get his attention.
Ponytail: NOOOooo! Not a tazer! That would KILL him!
Me: Oh emm gee, I'm NOT homicidal! I was talking about a CAT tazer, Ponytail! Duh.
Ponytail: There's no such thing as a CAT TAZER, Mommy!
Me: Okay, then. We'll just have to get a BABY tazer and PRETEND it's a kitty tazer!
(P.S. We didn't!)