Hardly Evil at All

I bet if you took all the evil people in the world and laid them end to end (but not in any dirty kind of way), you would be surprised to find that not one of them was Me.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Turning Botulism into Profit! (from the facebook files)

Me: When stocking up for hurricane season, dented cans may SEEM like a bargain, but your savings will be negated by your medical bills once your botulism fully develops.
Me (again): If you can't resist a dented can, you can test for safety by feeding the contents FIRST to your least favorite family member or pet, and then watching them closely for symptoms.
(still) Me: Whether they survive or not, you may be able to make home-made Botox to sell door to door in your neighborhood. If you already HAVE a meth lab up and running, this will be surprisingly quick, easy, and profitable. So, I GUESS I need to go back and retract the advice about not buying dented cans.
Hula Hoops: wat are the symptoms n is it fatal?
Me: My only REAL information about botulism came from a Trixie Belden mystery I read when I was younger, and it was EXTREMELY fatal in that particular case. I think.
Hula Hoops: ok well i was jst wondering in case i wanted 2stock up 4 some dinner guests lol
Me (later that same day): I was halfway done with my very first batch of Botox (and oh SO CLOSE to a new career) when Ponytail up and told me this can's extremely boring dent story. So we went ahead and just ate the fake Botox for lunch.

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