Turning Botulism into Profit! (from the facebook files)

Me: When stocking up for hurricane season, dented cans may SEEM like a bargain, but your savings will be negated by your medical bills once your botulism fully develops.
Me (again): If you can't resist a dented can, you can test for safety by feeding the contents FIRST to your least favorite family member or pet, and then watching them closely for symptoms.
(still) Me: Whether they survive or not, you may be able to make home-made Botox to sell door to door in your neighborhood. If you already HAVE a meth lab up and running, this will be surprisingly quick, easy, and profitable. So, I GUESS I need to go back and retract the advice about not buying dented cans.
Hula Hoops: wat are the symptoms n is it fatal?
Me: My only REAL information about botulism came from a Trixie Belden mystery I read when I was younger, and it was EXTREMELY fatal in that particular case. I think.
Hula Hoops: ok well i was jst wondering in case i wanted 2stock up 4 some dinner guests lol
Me (later that same day): I was halfway done with my very first batch of Botox (and oh SO CLOSE to a new career) when Ponytail up and told me this can's extremely boring dent story. So we went ahead and just ate the fake Botox for lunch.

Me and my Biggest Fan (literally)

(circa 11 AM)  Me and my Biggest Fan riding around again this morning! 

A big shout-out to Miss Linda for the advice to strap him into the seat-belt this time. I'm usually pretty good at coming up with ideas on my own. I had to reach over and set him back on the passenger seat so many times over the last 48 that I was considering leaving him at home next time.

The seat-belt really turned a chore into a breeze (unintentional pun that I'm choosing to leave in here) (because I can, that's why). However, it was MUCH hotter once I got out of Wall Store, and, of course, I TOTALLY forgot to take my top off before driving (don't worry, I had a swimsuit top on, just like when I was 18 and my Burgundy Oldsmobile didn't have air conditioning except in the winter), so I was in NO MOOD to be inundated with demands for my attention as soon as I walked through the front door. What with Jagger's incessant, narcissistic whining and Scooter's legitimate plight of needing to pee RIGHT NOW, I had to put my own needs on hold for a while. After I petted him and fed him, I had to lock Jagger up in Saren's room again because YESTERDAY he was so much underfoot while I was TRYING to get a bowl to re-heat my gruel up in that he made me bonk my head on the microwave and THEN he refused to go to Time-Out in the corner, and I'm NOT going to physically RESTRAIN him in the corner (ain't nobody got time f'that). First, though, I took Scooter outside to go potty and, while he was taking care of his business, I went back to the van to bring in all my bags. To save time later, I left my biggest fan in the locked van with all the windows UP. I sure hope he's all right when I get up, and that he's ready to ride shotgun again.