Hardly Evil at All

I bet if you took all the evil people in the world and laid them end to end (but not in any dirty kind of way), you would be surprised to find that not one of them was Me.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Sunflower, a.ka. Second Ninja in Charge of Snakes

Have you thought about embracing the trend of rattling your Snake?  Today's young snakes are totally into getting safety pin piercings.  Then, you, as the Boss of Snake, just attach whatever you want.  You can use Snake's attire to coordinate your home's decor (or your jammies!), or you can decorate it for holidays.  In your case, you can make it rattle for your convenience!
If you choose to place multiple piercings, you and your snake can wear matching ensembles (see My Snake and Me catalog), and enter contests.  It is best to continue using low-temp hot glue guns to attach their hats and wigs.
Once you've committed to this alternative lifestyle, the most important thing to remember is to protect your well-dressed Snake.  Other, less-fortunate, snakes will be envious, and may attempt to mug your beloved Snake in order to steal its fashions.

Do not allow Snake to wander alone in the ghetto at night.  Teach Snake not to boast about all the additional wardrobe treasures kept at home.  Such behavior is known to push more delinquent snakes over to the darker side, and they are likely to be unable to resist temptation.
While I am sure that gangs of un-armed, non-poisonous snakes are far from the top of the lists of most dangerous home invaders , I am equally sure that they are WAY up there on the list of SCARIEST THINGS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!  Little Known Fact: most suicides by cyanide tablet can be directly attributed to this very occurrence.

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