Hardly Evil at All

I bet if you took all the evil people in the world and laid them end to end (but not in any dirty kind of way), you would be surprised to find that not one of them was Me.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

#CSpireLies FOREVER: What I used my phone for yesterday

Used "Navvy" to tell me which 3 exits to take to get my child to a nearby city, and me back home.  She did okay.

Sent and received several brief text messages.

Caught up with the small group of fabulous people in my virtual circle of friends (commonly known as "facebooking").

Tried to figure out how Ebay works.  Downloaded the app.  It didn't help.

Shared these "music" videos with children.
The Adventures of One Eskimo chapter one, music by One Eskimo

The Zombie Song, by Stephanie Mabey

Watched this favorite song video again.  Storm, by Adrianne Gonzales

Watched and shared this music video with lyrics:  Just Give Me a Reason, by Pink

Sorted my YouTube "watch later" and "favorites" folders into applicable playlists.  In order to give #CSpireLies the benefit of the doubt, I have to suppose they have arrived at the only logical conclusion:  That I alone possess the power to watch and process an entire 2 to 15 minute YouTube video in the 3 seconds it actually takes other people to click on the video and then place it in the appropriate playlist. 
Yes, #CSpireLies believes I watched each video, in its entirety, at a speed only second to the speed of light.  They tallied up all the data they believed I had unfairly accessed (with my secret powers), and initiated punitive measures intended to discourage me from further allegiance with the Dark Side.  Makes perfect sense.  It was really only a matter of time before #CSpireLies figured me out.

No matter how many times the hostages beg #CSpireLies to elaborate, as we vainly attempt to comply like the good little Stockholmers we so desperately want to be, #CSpireLies refuses to provide us with numbers or words that mean anything remotely useable.

The closest to an explanation that #CSpireLies provides is repeating a statement to the effect that "Unlimited" means they will slow down your data speed only if you use "high amounts" of data. 

#CSpireLies needs a dictionary.  Their definition of unlimited is eerily similar to the definition of pornography (as per Booth on the TV program, Bones): they'll know it when they see it!  Happy stalking, #CSpireLies!

If knowledge is power, #CSpireLies is hoarding its kryptonite, depriving us of access to the collective knowledge of this "modern" age, while continuing to extract exorbitant amounts of meaningless "protection" fees.
What if hostages refused to continue paying #CSpireLies for the privilege?  What if those same hostages pooled those fees and retained a group of attorneys to initiate a class-action suit against #CSpireLies?  What if this movement were already in progress, #CSpireLies?

Times are tough all over, #CSpireLies.  As for the downtrodden peasants who "like" you on facebook?  Once y'all learn how to read, #CSpireLies, I believe you will find history is absolutely resplendent with examples of just how much peasants love a good villain!

#CSpireLies believes they are not bound by the laws of fair business practice.  Let them know that they are.

P.S. And, if anybody reading this knows anyone at #CSpireLies (above the rank of powerless Customer "Service" Representative), for the love of anything that is still holy, please, PLEASE, give them a dictionary.

#CSpireLies FOREVER!

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