Hardly Evil at All

I bet if you took all the evil people in the world and laid them end to end (but not in any dirty kind of way), you would be surprised to find that not one of them was Me.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Dismembered Skeleton in the Attic and the (possibly) Serial Killer Monkey

So, I go up in the attic, just taking a look around. Never been up there before. Still plenty I haven't gone through to know what we were able to save and what we lost from all the moves. I don't happen to like rickety ladders. I believe most crime could be prevented if criminals were somehow forced to ascend rickety ladders to get to it. Came across a box of ASSORTED, as you do when you're on an attic expedition. I immediately recognized the skeletal hand sticking up , and smiled, grabbed the familiar bony hand and pulled out... the rest of the arm, but none of his other parts. Vaguely confused, but think that bony arm might make a good emergency back-up back scratcher. Then I found the cutest little plastic monkey (I don't like REAL monkeys) that was clearly intended to DO something. Opened the battery compartment in its back. There weren't any batteries in there, so of course it wouldn't do whatever it was supposed to do. But the compartment wasn't empty, NoSirrieBob! Instead of batteries, there were four tiny dismembered plastic fingertips, that had all been GNAWED OFF, by Someone or Something. I'm not saying that a toy monkey without batteries is capable of such carnage, but he did seem to go out of his way to hide the evidence.

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