Hardly Evil at All

I bet if you took all the evil people in the world and laid them end to end (but not in any dirty kind of way), you would be surprised to find that not one of them was Me.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Pretendra Resigns, to Save HerOwnSelf

I find myself at work tonight, wondering why I am here.  My ridiculously outrageous, MakesNoSenseAtAll, assignment is about to become even more so.

My brain's Rational and Emotional centers re-enact a debate involving the legal ramifications of my just walking out NOW versus finishing THIS ONE LAST SHIFT and NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN EVER, AND THIS TIME I MEAN IT!  When did that argument become CONSTANT instead of occasional?

I feel my heart beating so much harder and faster than is healthy.  I recognize once more that this place is killing my body, and faster than I deserve.  I try not to think about what it's doing to my Soul.

I decide to stick it out tonight.  I am better than this place.  I am better than this job.  I am stronger, and I am worth so much more than they think.  But, when I leave in the morning, I really WON'T come back.
 
I hear a reassuring hum, and feel the gentle presence of a warm hand lying casually across my waist.  I realize my eyes feel a bit gritty, and reach for the contact solution on the nightstand to refresh them.

Although I'm pretty sure this old mattress would lose in a comfortability contest with most lawns, that's my One True Love beside me.  We may not OWN a roof over our heads anymore, but there IS one.

I'm hoping these particular flashback nightmares become less frequent, but I'm relieved that they're only nightmares now, instead of Real Life.

*...Sometimes, you have to Quit before you can Win.

2 comments:

  1. Beautifully said. -Stripes

    ReplyDelete
  2. I received this update from Pretendra:

    I had a chest pain episode and I realized I would rather die than risk ending up where I worked. Isn't that sick?
    ~Pretendra

    ReplyDelete

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