Hardly Evil at All

I bet if you took all the evil people in the world and laid them end to end (but not in any dirty kind of way), you would be surprised to find that not one of them was Me.

Friday, January 11, 2013

As We Prepare for Empty Nest-dom...

Let us take (somewhat smug) comfort in the knowledge that some of our oldest (meaning longest-having; they're basically our same age!) friends are starting their baby years NOW.  Therefore, in the (crossing my fingers, toes, eyes, bra straps, every cross-able item in my reach and control, AND chanting fervent prayers right now!) somewhat, and by somewhat, I mean VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY DISTANT future, WE (almost Empty-Nesters already!) will be out with our grandbabies, with our friends, with their OWN young children in tow.  Once it's established that OUR little ones are our GRANDS, our friends will naturally be assumed to be grandmothers, too, and will have to correct people all the time (that's the unfortunate price they'll have to pay for hanging with us!).  Whereas, WE are gonna get positively sick and tired of CONSTANTLY hearing:  Oh, you are FAR TOO YOUNG and beautiful to be a grandmother!!! ALL the time! 
Unless, in my case, the Botox I intend to get for migraine prophylaxis leaves my face partially frozen in a blank,  Parkinson's type stare that, while smoothing out the wrinkles, leaves me looking distant, and bored, and possibly makes strangers too uncomfortable to approach me to tell me how totally HOT I am, especially for a GRANDmother, for goodness sakes!
If I'm doomed to look distant and bored all the time, I'd rather be looking so in a hammock on an island somewhere.  An island with air conditioners, wifi, and Netflix.

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